By Courtney L. | Published on Dec 05, 2016
When you enter any sugar arrangement, you should expect that there will be a lot of give and takes. You’ll be giving your time, attention, and affection to your Sugar Daddy in exchange for any luxurious gifts and financial benefits. That is the whole point of sugar dating, isn’t it?
Beware though, as you dive deeper into the Sugar Bowl, you may find that yourself making unworthy sacrifices for your sugar partner. Or, you may find yourself considering making sacrifices to reap bigger benefits. While all relationships require some sacrifice from either partner, sugar relationships are more likely to bring this strain onto the relationship. Money can affect people in many different ways. It all comes down to one simple question; how much are you willing to give to get what you desire?
Don’t Ditch Your Dreams
Sugar dating is a fun and unique way to get you through hard times and get ahead in life. Sugar arrangements are, however, almost always temporary. With that being said, try not to let your current situation dictate the rest of your life. Sure, your Sugar Daddy may be making your life a breeze at this present moment. When this moment passes though, what are you left with? Remember to always plan for the future. If you had career aspirations before you started sugar dating, keep working towards your goals. Take advantage of your Sugar Daddy’s skills as a mentor and a networking expert. Don’t get too comfortable thinking you don’t need to worry about the rest of your life. You can’t be a Sugar Baby forever; trust me, I’ve looked into it.
If you’re a working Sugar Baby, be very careful not to let your arrangement interfere with your job. Speaking from experience, I, myself, have come dangerously close to getting canned due to extended vacations and lateness. It becomes so easy to let yourself relax and lose focus when you have another form of income. I always make it clear at the beginning of any arrangement that I do work full-time. That way, my priorities are made clear and it’s no surprise that I can’t meet for an impromptu lunch date on a Tuesday afternoon.
The Hostage Situation
As a Sugar Bowl veteran, I can tell you that I have seen far too many women break this cardinal rule. If you find yourself in an arrangement that makes you feel unsafe, you’re not in an arrangement; you’re in a hostage situation. Spending time with your Sugar Daddy should be a fun and exciting experience that you look forward to having. If you’re dreading that weekly meeting, you’re doing sugar dating all wrong. If he is pushing you to a place that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, push back. Refusing to work within your limits and boundaries shows a lack of respect. This is yet another reason why it is so important to communicate your needs and expectations in the pre-arrangement planning phase.
In the worst arrangement I ever had, I agreed to my Sugar Daddy’s request to “experiment.” My rent was past due and I was months behind my bills. I wasn’t working at the time and I was desperate for financial help. I made the mistake of agreeing to his request without clarifying what he meant or asking for any details. When it came time to fulfill his wishes, I wanted to run away screaming. I was not prepared for what he was asking for and I was excruciatingly uncomfortable. Luckily, I was able to end the arrangement with no hard feelings. I realized then that I had to be more selective about my arrangements, no matter how badly I needed the money.
Friends and Family
About two months into my first arrangement I received a heartbreaking text from my mother; “You never answer your phone anymore, do you hate me??” She had, in fact, been trying to reach out to me several times per week. I was too caught up in my weekly shopping sprees to take a few minutes to return her calls. I suppose I told myself that whatever she wanted couldn’t be nearly as important as me finding a handbag to match my shoes. Her short, simple text made me feel like the world’s worst daughter. My mom and I have always been very close, and I realized I had been spending more time talking to cashiers than the woman who gave me life.
I was able to patch things up with my mom. I’m sure I gave her some lame excuse about being busy at work, I can’t remember. She was not the only one to call me out on my flakiness. When I ran into a good friend in the mall parking lot, he called me Paris Hilton and told me several times, “you’ve changed.” I didn’t like that at all. Sugaring was not supposed to change who I was. Since then, I’ve made a conscious effort to stay in touch with my friends and family. I may not have time to go visit in person, but even a simple text lets them know I’m thinking of them.
The most important thing to remember is this; don’t sacrifice who you are or who you want to become. If it doesn’t feel right, or it takes away from your individual uniqueness; don’t do it. Money can make people do crazy things, but remember that this lifestyle can disappear on a moment’s notice. Enjoy the present, but remember that you have to live with yourself in the future.