By Naomi B. | Published on Mar 15, 2018
Regardless of whether you’re in a short term or long term arrangement, relationships aren’t easy. Even if you can’t find the perfect person at the moment, you should be willing to put in the effort to make sure that the relationship works.
Read on for a few expert tips on how you can give your relationship its best shot:
Let your thoughts be known
If you want to change something in your relationship, you need to get it out in the open. The truth is, there will always be certain things you don’t like about each other or things you both don’t agree with but that is fine. Your thoughts need to be addressed because they wont just go away. Conflict is inevitable, so, take the courage to express your feelings/thoughts to your partner. Ask for their opinion and their input so that decisions can be made together in an atmosphere that doesn’t blame and judge. Don’t let some disagreements get in the way of what is otherwise a happy and healthy arrangement.
‘You’ vs ‘I’ statements
‘You always do this.’
‘You expect me to clean up your mess.’
‘You’re always working.’
Any of these sound familiar?
Many couples tend to start pointing fingers at each other out of daily frustrations or unresolved arguments. Blame, criticism and accusation are the killers of a relationship. This is exactly why choosing the right words during an argument is so important. So instead of always starting your statement with ‘You’, start your statements with ‘I’. Its not you versus him in anything, it’s the both of you against the problem. For a constructive conversation to happen, make sure you use ‘I feel..’ before your state whatever emotions you have or the behavior of your partner that makes you feel that way. Then, follow up with a more preferred solution to it.
Once you’ve agreed on the rules and boundaries in your relationship, stick to it. Don’t start behavior patterns that you cannot maintain and be clear in your colours. Don’t slack off once you get comfortable in your relationship. For example, in the beginning of the relationship, you might have hooked him up because you are an understanding and considerate person. He thinks he has hit the jackpot. But a few months later, once you have settled, you may let your guard down and slack off on the very great personality that attracted him in the first place.
Focus on yourself
Change is inevitable. If you’re in for a long-term relationship, be sure to communicate with your partner and expect to make some changes along the way. However, you should not neglect your own needs in the process. Focus on loving yourself. If you love yourself, your partner is invited to love you more.
Don’t forget to spend some ‘me-time’. You don’t have to spend every second of the day together. You will realize that the time spent apart will actually pull you closer and keep the relationship fresh.
Do the work
You need to remember that you have to continually put effort to make a relationship work, it will not survive on its own. Don’t stop appreciating the things your partner do for you, don’t stop saying ‘I love you’ and don’t take them for granted. Even if the flowers he got you are the 100th bouquet you’ve received, be grateful and say ‘Thank for the flowers, they’re beautiful.’
Love each other unconditionally. Sometimes it really is just that simple.