Newbie needs help

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This topic contains 21 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Marrianne 1 year, 3 months ago.

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  • #742 Reply

    Christine L.

    Hi I’m new to the sugar bowl. Just a question, I don’t wanna do anything sexual yet with any of my pot, how should I tell them? What would be a good price as well for an allowance and should I ask for gifts or money on any first dates?

  • #744 Reply

    @Christine L.

    I like to always ask for a gift for first dates. It’s personal preference and guys will tell you no but I don’t care because girl I don’t date for free. I suggest that prior to meeting ask him his expectations of the relationship and then tell him your expectations of the relationship. I always say I want something that progresses naturally so that intimacy is not expected right off the bat. Honesty and communication is key in these relationships. Don’t be afraid to state how you want things to go! As far as allowance, that’s really upto you, your needs, what you would feel comfortable/happy walking away with after the date, etc. ????

  • #746 Reply


    easy. before making any arrangements, tell him straight up your expectations(like you don’t want sex involved) and see what he says then you’ll start from there. if he disagrees, then move on and find a new one.

    • #1827 Reply


      I tried this it doesn’t work lol

  • #748 Reply

    Hello! I’m a bbw new to the sugar world too!! and I have my first real POT. We exchanged several detailed e-mails, then eventually started texting, and he asked for a phone call, which lasted almost an hour and was mostly him talking. He is extremely sweet and goes into great detail when expressing how he feels about my personality, looks, and his interest in me. I have no idea where to go from here because he hasn’t brought up anything about meeting in person. What do I say to get the ball rolling?

    • #749 Reply


      I’d absolutely ignore everything he’s saying until he puts money in your hand. It’s all smoke until then. If you live in the city bring up activities that interest you that you’d like to do together. If he doesn’t catch the hint then just ask when you guys are going to meet. If he can’t commit he’s a waste of your time. Drop him.

    • #750 Reply


      Girl let me tell you especially since you’re new, ask for CASH ONLY and you make sure you get it up front before he tries to get to intimate with you. If he starts saying he wants sex before you get the money, RUN

  • #754 Reply


    from my personal experience when I first started out I didn’t expect anything on the first meet, but I would say 4/5 POTs I have met have given me something on the first meet.

  • #898 Reply


    Hi, I live in the houston area and I am very new to the sugar bowl. Is there some place that you purchase outfits from to go hunting for your sugar daddy?

  • #1863 Reply


    Hey sisters. I’m considering entering the sugar bowl but I have a few questions. Firstly, is it expected that a sugar baby use their real name? or for privacy reasons can they use an ‘alter ego’, so as not to be found out by friends and family who may react poorly. Second, has being a sugar baby ever impacted any post-sugarbowl relationships adversely? Third, is it wrong to only want to be a sugar baby to finance trips overseas (or other things of a similar nature)? Last, is it more uncommon than common to have bad experiences? you hear a lot from people who don’t know anything at all about this kind of lifestyle saying that “nothing but bad things happen”, but is that really true? thanks girls ????????

    • #1865 Reply


      is it expected that a sugar baby use their real name?
      You can do whatever you’re comfortable with. You should certainly not put your name anywhere in your profile. I use my real name when messaging because I am a generally open person and wouldn’t remember to respond to a pseudonym. But I know many people who don’t give out their real name until a couple dates in or ever.

      has being a sugar baby ever impacted any post-sugarbowl relationships adversely?
      I’m sure it has for some people, but as with everything, YMMV. I’ve alternated vanilla and sugar relationships over the past 6 years and have had no problem going from one to the other.

      is it wrong to only want to be a sugar baby to finance trips overseas?
      Nope. As I mentioned before– You can do whatever you’re comfortable with.

      is it more uncommon than common to have bad experiences?
      If you’re naive, don’t pay attention to warning signs, or don’t listen to your gut– it’s true. There are many bad things that can happen. But if you carefully screen and take the time to get to know people and don’t change your limits because something sounds really good– your chances of negative experiences drastically decline. Most people who post here after having bad experiences (and there have been many, to be perfectly honest), talk about ignoring their instinct. So just keep your safety as a priority. No one can stop all bad things from happening- but prevention is key :).

      • #1867 Reply


        There is a gamut of opinions. Personally, if I cannot figure out who you are, from your name and your phone number, I will not pursue. You can have very good reasons to be hiding, but it is not worth it for me to worry about someone who is so concerned. Once again, there is nothing wrong with being paranoid and you can have the best reasons. Just that some ppl will take that as being incompatible and will move on.

    • #1869 Reply
      Shannon Brooks
      Shannon Brooks

      You are asking several questions, so I shall respond in kind.

      1. I used my first name, or rather a nickname of it. However I did not give up my last name – until my SGF (at the time SB) wanted something electronically and I had to ask for her full name to send it to her. So in return I told her my full name, because I wanted to show her trust. She used an Americanized version of her first name when we first contacted, and then she told me her exotic real first name. I actually prefer that because the Americanized version was very close to my wife’s name, and of course because my SGF’s real name is beautiful! However, my last SB didn’t know my full name. She knew my first name, or the nickname for it (but I prefer just going by the real name). I guess I knew her full name because we contacted eachother via email, and she would always use variations of her name in her emails (she used like 5+ email addresses in 2 years). But we weren’t anywhere remotely as close as my current relationship.

      2. Well I am not a Sugar Baby. But I am married. I was never found out for my last quasi – SB. But we kept things extremely casual, at most talked a few times a month via email, and met up once a month to three months. My current SGF and I meet up 2 times a week and email frequently. And I text her during the day during the window I am at work, under the guise of my best friend. I delete the lovey dovey messages on my way home. So there is a lot more that could go wrong. But I thoroughly trust my girlfriend, and I still somewhat cautious about the email and texting thing while at home. I practice pretty good Opsec techniques. However, my wife and I are on the outs, so at this point I also don’t really care. Well I do care, because I want a clean break in the somewhat near future. So yeah.

      3. Not at all. Everyone has their own reasons. My SGF is doing it to pay off debt and of course experience great things. I am doing it because I have a wife who hates me, and is a dead bedroom situation, and although I am 30, I feel like an old man. That and my wife is an extremely negative introvert. I am a very positive ambivert. So that also can be dragging, and I was looking for someone who is a positive person. I needed passion, intimacy, love, and excitement back in my life, and my girlfriend brings all of those things to the table. She makes me the best version of my self. The self that I thought had died or gone dormant years ago. So no, not wrong at all on your end!

      4. Haters gonna hate! I told one of my best friends a few weeks ago. Mostly for a mix of his benefit (since he is extremely socially awkward and I thought it could help boost his confidence), and mine (telling someone in real life). He understood why I was doing what I was doing, but he didn’t accept it. Thankfully he is trustworthy and will keep quiet. He is super frugal though, and I thought the thought of him being with attractive women would entice him out of his frugal ways – NOPE! He said something like “Does the $70 SA fee count as a discount towards the woman!” and I about collapsed in laughter / felt like kicking myself in the foot for opening up my big mouth and telling him! If he knew how much money I spent on my SGF during the past month and a half, he would have a brain aneurysm. Let’s just say the amount I have spent could fund someone like you a decent trip to wherever you wanted to go worldwide! 😛 But I am 100% fine with that. It is my money I have saved / earned. I am doing something for my own well being and my SGFs. So yes, long story short, haters are going to hate. But you know what, their loss!

      5. Oh there are bad things in the bowl. There are bad people, crazy people, creepy people etc… However, there are also genuine, kind, loving, and great people too. Sometimes you have to sift through many rocks before you find the gem! However, I have found my gem! 😀

      Good luck!

    • #1871 Reply


      My policy for myself is to keep my identity close to the chest initially, but to be completely open as to who I am, where I work. live etc. once we start dating. I’ve had a few ladies over the years who’ve never opened up, but generally find that most do once things get underway in earnest. These are relationships, and they work best with everyone being open and honest.

  • #1521 Reply


    How can you tell if a pot is a real or fake sugar daddy?

    • #1522 Reply

      Sometimes it’s super easy to tell.. sometimes it’s a bit more difficult. You’ll be able to gauge how sweet or salty he is after the first date, for the most part. Pay attention to what they say. Remember though, just because they don’t give you money on the first date doesn’t necessarily mean they’re salt..

  • #44606 Reply


    Hi. I’m 22 and I work full time in retail and I’m also a part time student. I’m interested in joining the sugar bowl. I realized afford to pay college fees anymore because bills are piling up and that gets to me. I’m quite decent looking and I’m curvy. However, I have a boyfriend who keeps stressing out finances to me as well…which made me entertain the idea about becoming a SB. How should I bring this up to my BF? Don’t want to freak him out.

    • #44607 Reply

      Ms Congeniality

      If I were you I would try out sugaring first before bringing it up to him. Make sure that it is for you and make sure you can successfully get money out of the men in your area without intimacy and then bring it up to boyfriend with proof.

  • #44631 Reply


    should I be wary of a POT who offers a lot before having met to discuss arrangements (for example offering an allowance straight off the bat or asking what gifts will please you)? Love xxxxx

    • #44632 Reply


      Yes. Always be cautious. For me, personally, I ALWAYS accept as long as they understand they aren’t getting anything in return.
      Let his lyin ass send you $$$ or a gift. 9/10 they won’t because they were just trying to hook you. But, if they do happen to come through and stick to their word. Welp….looks like you may have a POT. ????

  • #44648 Reply


    Hai. I’m new to the sugar babies things. I want to know how do you usually ask for payment when they only want an online companion?

    • #44659 Reply


      Hi Qae! Well, it depends on what kind of online companion – if it is the taking clothes off kind of online companion, you could place a price on each piece of clothing 😉 or if it’s to chat, then per 15min rate?

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